omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
ttyl tear gas
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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