So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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