I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
