My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
