it hurts more in the daytime
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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