He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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