I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
