Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
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Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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