one two three fourrrrnication!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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