We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
