we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
