I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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