so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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