The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm getting married
To pizza
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
