I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
