guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
