I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize