Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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