He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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