I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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