once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
