I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
