We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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