idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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