so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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