When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
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debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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