he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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