We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
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I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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