She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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