OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think people are normalizing furries
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
