remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
