i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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