They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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