do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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