I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
