In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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