i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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