love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
