Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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