I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
