it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
