i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
