Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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