After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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