I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
