the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize