I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
