ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
