found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
