It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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