ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
