I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
