just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize