I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
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He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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