I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
its liver damage thursday
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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