Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
