I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
