i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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