i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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