I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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