Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
