He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
