Plan B is the new Plan A
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
